My brother’s wedding

January 27, 2010

Well this past weekend Jonathan and Jessica were married. She was such a beautiful bride…breathtaking! Her and Jonathan make such an awesome couple.  The wedding was so nice and fun! I cried all the way through it. Kaylee, her neice was just so angelic coming down the aisle in her wagon, throwing out flowers. Then when Taylor came down the aisle making his way to his mommy, he annouced, I’m coming mommy! So sweet!  My feet were absolutely killing me. I really didn’t think I was going to be able to stand there much longer and I thought for sure I would fall from trying to walk with numb feet. However, I made it and as soon as I got in the back those devil shoes came off!

I just want to say I wish Jonathan and Jess a beautiful life together. There is nothing better than when you marry your best friend. Marriage is a lot of hard work, but with respect, friendship, and love you can get through anything. I know I have only been married 12 1/2 years but what I have learned is try to accept your part in things, listen even when you know your right, small acts of love speak volumes. Lean on the other one when you need to, know that good, bad or ugly, the other is there to help you figure it out.

I love you both so much!

Jenn

Life

November 8, 2009

I haven’t blogged in a while so I thought I would take a few and write one.

Next week is our re launch at the Majestic 12 and I am so excited but also nervous. I am excited because I know that God has wonderful great things in store for the city of Chattanooga. I am nervous because I want to make sure that God’s light shines in everything we do at Northbridge. I am afraid of overlooking that one person that just needs a hello or a smile.

Northbridge walked from the walking bridge to the theater today in a silent prayer walk. During the walk, I felt overwhelmed at how big and great our God is. I knew that I was exactly were He wants me to be and doing exactly what He wants me to do. I prayed for the city of chattanooga and all the people there. I pray that people will come and will open their hearts to God’s word. I pray that they understand how much He loves them, no matter how “dirty”  or unworthy they feel.

On the family side, I had a wonderful weekend. Derrick had to work all weekend…boo whoo..  Devan and I hung out with Krista on Friday and she came here and spent the night with us. When we got home Jess and Taylor were here. He ran down the stairs, luckily Devan grabbed his hand and was saying, “Johnny’s sister– Johnny’s sister.” How sweet is that!

Saturday, Devan and I hung out with Krista again…fun times…We ended the night meeting up with Jess and Jonathan to get Taylor and bring him home with us. He is so amazing.

Sunday, after the prayer walk–Devan and I had lunch with Jess, Jonathan, Taylor and mom…Red Robins, yum… Then Devan, me, and mom went to get Derrick’s birthday gift (thanks mom).  Now Jess and Jonathan are grilling steaks and mom came for dinner. Can’t wait until Derrick gets home.

I think that is about all the random things I can think of…

Random things

September 28, 2009

Well my brother told me I needed to blog so here it goes:

My cousin Jess got married this weekend. She was so beautiful! As soon as I turned to see her walk down the aisle I immediately lost it and started sobbing. She looks just like my aunt. When you lose someone whom you loved so much, it is hard to see them again but at the same time it is amazing. What an amazing gift to all that attended! Not only did we get to see the baby girl get married we all got to look at my aunt’s beautiful face! Congrats to Jess and Kelly–you two make a wonderful couple. I have no doubt this marriage will last a lifetime!

Northbridge is going great! We had a very good turn out this Sunday! yeah… I am so proud to get to be part of this church. It is not a church that is out to make people for bad about themselves, less than perfect. It’s about all of us non-perfect people coming together to worship, learn and grow in Christ. I love that! No one is looking at you in judgement or with critisism. It great! After this week we will be going out in the community for 4 weeks–Exodus series! We want to show people in our community that we care! We want to help even if it is a small way, because the people in Chattanooga matter!

Devan is growing so fast! I can’t stand it. It seems like yesterday he was into everything and I was chasing him around. Lord I miss that! He is such a sweet young man…He has a good soul just like his dad!

Hung out with Krista yesterday and I had a really good time. We are a lot alike with our shopping as well. We see a lot of things and then by the time we get to the register we have put most everything back. I thought I was the only one who did that.

My brother and I hung out on Friday–Derrick was working and Devan was at a friends. We had dinner and starbucks afterwards—a long talk…It was great! He has a way of making things make sense when I can’t get it too! I know that I can talk to him about anything and he will care! I love him so much! Oh and he almost got me beat up at Walmart last night…He kept pulling the steering wheel of my car so that I had to finally stop after his making me merge right. Well I was laughing and I didn’t think about a car being beside me so I just started and got back in the left side of the lane—oops angry woman beside me that I almost hit did not like that a bit. I parked by her and she was sooooooo angry—you could tell she wanted to beat me up so bad….lol   Fun times!

My husband it finally getting to work now! whooo hooooo! I do miss him when he works, but it gets really tight without the work. He is such a sweet man! Even when he is laid off he works his butt off to make sure we are taken care of. He is incredible. There is no end to his generousity and love. I love you Derrick Greene….

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!!!

July 20, 2009

Well tomorrow is your 14th birthday! Gosh, I am getting old. More importantly you are growing up. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and know that I am the luckiest woman in the entire world for getting such a beautiful gift from God—-YOU!

Here are 14 things I would like for you to know:

1. God’s creations are perfect!

2.  God does not make mistakes!

3. You are God’s creation and he did not make a mistake in your creation!

4.  You are a gift from God!

5. God’s love is unconditonal!

6. Mine and your dad’s love for your unconditonal!

7. You were created by God–uniquely!

8. You are unique! I love your uniqueness!

9. You have a huge- loving- caring- heart!

10.  God sees all of us from the inside (our hearts), he doesn’t care what our outside looks like.

11.  Don’t ever let anyone make you feel you are not good enough!

12.  Don’t ever “feed” into other people ignorance and preduices!!! They can’t measure your self worth.

13.  Your character and your heart is what determines the kind of person you are and you are incredibly beautfiul!

14.  Each and every hurt you experience throughout your life, is your chance to learn and grow! Try to remember that in your pain and hurt! God will NEVER leave your side!

I love you INSIDE and OUT!

Your mom!

What God sees

July 20, 2009

I really find writing down my feelings is very theapetic. These are only my opinions so forgive me if they are not scientifically proven….

I truly believe that God sees our beauty not from the outside but from the inside. Our beauty is our heart and our character.

I know that we are all guilty of “juding a book by its cover”! It is not a something that I am proud of. At the same time, I think our outward appearence is something that says things about us. It is something that we show the world about ourselves. When we see a teen dressed all in black–we could think Oh they worship satan, or oh they are a very unhappy person–or we could say wow they are very unique. Whose to say what their inside is really like. You would have to invest time into that person to know what is in their heart. Maybe when we look at others we can remind ourselves that we are unique and we should not clump people together by what they wear, the names on their clothing or the color of their skin.

Color of someones skin……this one hits home for me and I have some very strong opinions on this. U ready to hear this???? Well I am ready to get it out, so here we go…

It is proven medically that as humans we are all made of the same organs. Each organ provides its own functions within us. Our blood is all red and it saves the same purpose in all of our bodies. My point being, that our insides are all the exact same!!!!!!!!  So tell me why the “shade” of our skin is so freakin important to people. That is absoultely ignorant. So if you have a darker (than white) skin shade, what that someone makes you not as good? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Most of this is taught to us by uneducated ignorant parents. We keep passing this stupidity on to our children and theirs. It needs to stop.

As a parent, I know my childs heart. I know what his character is made of. I know that he is been the best blessing I have ever received from God. I know my child is not and will never be perfect and I don’t except him to be. I know that a day will come when he will break my heart and disappoint me. Does that mean I will love him any less? Hell no! He is so incredible, he is amazing, he is loving and compassionate, he can be so self-less, he wears his heart on his sleeve. He opens the door for his mom. He is loyal and  he is real. He is honest. He is open minded. He knows how to be a true friend. He tends to be shy at times, and it may come off as being stuck up, but there is nothing stuck up about him. He walks to the beat of his own drum, he has great taste in music, clothes, etc. It is very unique!  Some darker skinned people may say–he acts/dresses like a white boy! Some lighter skinned people may say–oh no he is black, he better not even talk to my son or daughter. Why is that???? Based solely on his skin color???? What about all the qualites I just listed above??? Does that not count for anything???? I would think your child should be honored to have a friend in him.  I could not imagine telling my son NO YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT GIRL….. she is white/black/hispanic/asisan…… that is so stupid and ignorant. I tell my son to get to know someone by the contents of their inside—what is their heart like??

I have worked so hard to raise my son to be get to know people and figure if he wants to be friends with someone based on the contents of the heart and character, it would never occur to me to teach him to hate people depending on the shade of the skin.  I have taught my son that as humans we are all unique. That is not something to hate in another that is a good thing. I dreamed for my son that he would have this great self confidence about him. I wanted him to believe in himself. I would like to say thank you to all the ignorant parents out there who are raising ignorant children. Thank you for teaching my son that there is something wrong with him, not because of anything his has done or said, but becuase of the the color of his skin. You tell your children, you can’t be friends with him, stay away from him….why??????  have you ever met him???? has his done or said something hurtful to you or your child????? NO HE ONLY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM AND SHOW THEM KINDNESS!!!!!!   

I feel so sorry for these kids…. I just pray that when they grow up they will break this cycle for their children.

Here is my prayer: Please God reveal the lessons you need my son to learn in order to be stronger and better person. God open the eyes of these people, help them to understand that you don’t rank us from good to bad on our outward apperances but from what our inside holds. God teach us all how to look at people with your pure love. I pray that we all love unconditionally. I pray that all these different sterotypes we place each other in are not from you, they are from us and they are usless and ignorant. Amen

I just wish that you would put yourself in our shoes…. What if your beautfiul, loving, terrific and amazing child were told over and over again by people that has never laid eyes on him or spoke to him that he can’t not be friends, talk to or hang out with their child because of something that he can’t control. It isn’t something that he did wrong. How would you feel as a parent??? How do explain that to your child? How do you teach them that they are just as good everyone else when people keep showing him his is not……

My Heart

June 30, 2009

Why is it such a struggle to determine if your heart has the right to feel a certain way? Maybe most people don’t struggle with this at all. I know I certainly do. My heart sometimes gets heavy over certain things, situations, people and words, etc., but I go over and over with myself do I have the right to feel this way???? I mean you hear that you can’t help how you feel, but can you? I struggle with this all the time. Whether it is getting hurt with how someone may treat me or how someone speaks to me or how they speak about me. Yes, I feel hurt and even sometimes mad! Then the process starts, I start thinking of it and I wonder am I too sensitive? Have I done something to deserve those words? How can I learn from this?  It is very rarely without much thought that I say— Jennifer you HAVE this right to your feelings! Why is that? I know some people that as soon as they have been wronged or hurt they speak up and I think that is great! I don’t, unless maybe it is someone that I am extremley close to (like a sis, brother, husband, or child) and sometimes I say too much. Sometimes, my words cut deep and then I feel horrible. I guess in my case it is good when I have to think about my feelings….Ugh why can’t their be a guide book that says Ok if someone does or says this you HAVE a right to your feelings and it is OK to _____ or ______.  But there are no guide books that have every single situation. 

I am really working on my realtionship with God and I know He will guide me without fail. Honestly though, it does get confusing–is that you God or is that me filling myself with these feelings? I guess they best thing for me to do is really pray and ask God to open my heart and mind to Him. I pray for revelation on His words and truth.

Jenn

Happy Father’s Day

June 17, 2009

HAPPY FATHER’ S DAY!!!!

 

I lost my step-day on December 27, 2008. His death came pretty quick and unexpected. Although I am not sure if any of us are we capable of “expecting” our loved one to die. I think our heart always carries hope. Hope that things will change or get better.

He is not here for me and my family to spend the day with him, so I found a card that I will put on his grave. It was hard to find one that was appropriate. Most of the cards said wishing you a relaxing day or something like that. The one I found simply read, ” Across the miles—–It’s hard being so far away, but I hope you know you’ve made our family life so much richer by being a part of it… and you’re being thought of with love today.”  Perfect! As I was writing inside the card, I started listing all the things I miss about him. I decided I wanted to post this in a blog so that 10 years from now I will NOT forgot all these things.

Dear Roo,

I miss you every single day! I miss getting to talk to you- even when you were “grumpy” lol  (P.S. you never scared me)  I miss your laugh. I miss they way your eyes lite up when your grandchildren walked into the room.  I miss coming over on Sundays and seeing you outside washing the cars. I miss the way you would blame me when you were being bad–even if I was out of town, you would say Jennifer did it.

I miss the way you would sneak and give Devan anything he asked for even when I said NO. I miss the way you loved me.  I miss the way you loved Derrick, Devan and my mom. I miss the way you truly loved your son. I miss the way you became a father to Derrick, you took him under your wing and taught him so much. I miss your fudge. I miss getting to fuss at you for eating candy and things filled with sugar. I miss being with you in Gatlinburg. I miss having you to call when I have a question about anything especially regarding my car. I miss going shopping with you–you always made me laugh, you are very hard to keep up with in a store.  I miss walking in the house and hearing your music playing and seeing you sitting at the kitchen table. I miss pulling in the driveway and seeing you in your swing.

I miss hearing you yell “Yo Adrian” when you embarrassed mom as she tried to run away from you. Or this one is a peterbuilt. Believe it or not I even miss finding little play spiders in my bed. I miss waking up to a horrible scary creature standing in my doorway chuckling. I miss you chasing me around the house with cave crickets. I miss you greeting me with ” Hey baby!” I miss seeing you ride Devan around the yard on your John Deere tractor when he was a baby. I miss your gentle voice. I miss seeing you play softball and hearing everyone call you “Big Cheese”. I miss being tossed around in your van. I miss your truck–Booger! I miss seeing you run after “naked man”  across the street when he kept flashing me and my friends. I miss you cutting my toenails, b/c if I did it myself they would become ingrown. I miss our dinner together at the Melon Patch. I miss you coming to stay  at my house.  I miss your huge generous heart. I miss you dancing with mom in the kitchen. I miss getting to hug and kiss you. I miss Devan having a papaw that thought he hung the moon. I miss your steaks. I miss hearing you asking for Juuuicce. I miss your stubborness. I miss your independent spirit. I miss seeing you with food all over your clothes. I miss seeing you in your colts jersey. I miss the way you love cherry flavored anything. I miss seeing you watch a scary movie.—it would crack me up. I miss walking in and catching you watching cartoons. Oh my goodness how I miss your contagious laugh. I miss sneaking you in red velveet cake at the hospital. I miss Christmas after all gifts were opened you would come out with me, Meredith and mom a special gift of jewlery just from you. I miss hearing that beautiful pray you prayed in the hospital that gave me the peace I had prayed for know I will see you again.

Most of all I miss having my daddy here with me. You may not have been my biological father, but from all that you did for me–I think it makes you more than a step-dad, it definetly qualifies you for a daddy. Thank you so much for being such a great dad to me and Derrick and an amazing papaw to Devan. Thank you for loving my mom so much! Thank you for taking on 3 small bratty children. I LOVE YOU RANDALL ALLEN GRAHAM, SR. —forever and ever. I will see you again one day. I promise! God’s grace has allowed it.  I am not mad at God for taking you from us, I am grateful to God for taking you home with Him. He is the lucky one and so are you! You will be missed for the rest of my days!!!

Love your baby girl,

Jenn

 This is from my husband Derrick.

Randall,

I miss you more than you’ll ever know. I miss having you there to guide me when I have a problem or I’m working on the cars or just need to vent to someone. You’ve been a father to me and that’s meant more to me than I could tell you. You took me under your wing and made me a man’s man.  You were a friend, dad and my dude, as I am yours. I know as men we don’t say it enough but I love and miss you so much.  You don’t have to worry because i will take care of your babies the best I can or should I say the way you taught me to.

Love you,

Derrick

This is from my son Devan.

Papaw, You couldn’t believe how much I miss you and think about you all the time.  I miss everything about you. I miss fishing with you and daddy. I miss your pancakes and bacon. I miss all the great times we had together.  I miss how you would let me watch t.v. when I was grounded…LOL :)  The times I shared with you are times I wouldn’t trade for the world. I love you Papaw and I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.

Love, Devan

This is from my nephew Bradley.

Papaw,

You have no idea how much I miss you. I think about you everday and miss you, and one day I hope to see you again. I miss you!

Love,

Bradley

God’s Grace

May 29, 2009

I am not writing this to sound like some holier than though holy roller. I am writing this in the hopes that someone might read this and learn something that took me 33 years to get. 

I was saved as a pre-teen in vacation bible school. Church became very scary for me. I felt that everyone in there seemed to be pretty close to perfect and I knew I was far from that and would never be perfect. The further I ran from God the more I needed forgiveness for. I could not forgive myself how could God forgive me.  Why would

Hhe want a relationship with me? A sinner.

What I have learned is that God seeks a relationship with us.  He knows when He saves us all the bad/stupid things you have done, but he also knows all the bad/stupid things we will do.  He still wants a realtionship with us. YOU WILL NEVER BE PERFECT and no one else with be either. It is ok.

When we give our life and heart to God, He lives in us! You will change. You will feel convinction when you sin.  That is Him telling us that is probably not a good decision. 

God makes you clean and new. He forgives you for all your sins.  the hardest part for me is to forgive myself, I think I still struggle with that.

I will close by saying that, God’s grace is amazing.  There is no one worthy of it but yet He gives it to us. WOW! I am glad that I don’t have to run anymore. I know that storms will come my way, but I am building my foundation with Rock and it is anchored in JJesus and when the storms come my house will not fall, but stand.

Thank you God! I love you!

My amazing little brother!!!!!

May 27, 2009

I have the most amazing little brother in the entire world. I am serious! I am so lucky. He is so thoughtful, kind, loving, talented, smart, and Godly! He amazes me every single day. We are very different in a lot of ways and so similar in a lot too! He looks at everything he loves and cherishes with such thought and love. When he cares for someone he wants to know all the small details as much as the big ones. He studies them. The effort and time he puts into his loved ones is incredible. For example, at Christmas, the gift he gave Derrick, Devan and I were the most amazing ever. It’s like he paitently studied and listened to us and then thoughtfully found the perfect gifts for each of us. It wasn’t these huge expensive gifts–it was life changing gifts.

I was out shopping with him yesterday and he totally amazed me for the one millionth time….he was looking for a “gift” for the most special person in his life. He studied each item with such love… Now, I am a spontaneous person. I see something I love and I am like lets get it today…right now. Nope not him, he searched, studied and thought about each and every thing he looked at. Oh, I love him so much!

I have not one doubt that the “gift” he picks will be beyone perfect.

 

Jonathan&Boys


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