My Heart

Why is it such a struggle to determine if your heart has the right to feel a certain way? Maybe most people don’t struggle with this at all. I know I certainly do. My heart sometimes gets heavy over certain things, situations, people and words, etc., but I go over and over with myself do I have the right to feel this way???? I mean you hear that you can’t help how you feel, but can you? I struggle with this all the time. Whether it is getting hurt with how someone may treat me or how someone speaks to me or how they speak about me. Yes, I feel hurt and even sometimes mad! Then the process starts, I start thinking of it and I wonder am I too sensitive? Have I done something to deserve those words? How can I learn from this?  It is very rarely without much thought that I say— Jennifer you HAVE this right to your feelings! Why is that? I know some people that as soon as they have been wronged or hurt they speak up and I think that is great! I don’t, unless maybe it is someone that I am extremley close to (like a sis, brother, husband, or child) and sometimes I say too much. Sometimes, my words cut deep and then I feel horrible. I guess in my case it is good when I have to think about my feelings….Ugh why can’t their be a guide book that says Ok if someone does or says this you HAVE a right to your feelings and it is OK to _____ or ______.  But there are no guide books that have every single situation. 

I am really working on my realtionship with God and I know He will guide me without fail. Honestly though, it does get confusing–is that you God or is that me filling myself with these feelings? I guess they best thing for me to do is really pray and ask God to open my heart and mind to Him. I pray for revelation on His words and truth.



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